The Art of Communication

Our body language and how we portray ourselves to the world contributes to us living satisfying, happy and fulfilling lives.  It can signal how we feel about ourselves, our mental and emotional stability or lack of.  It can show our confidence, self-esteem and convey openness and approachability.  It can also contribute to us living our best lives.

 Our body language gives people the opportunity to read us beyond what we say.  It plays a part in first impressions and can be used as a powerful tool to control how people perceive us.  Our first impressions tend to also be lasting impressions and are often formed very quickly.  This first impression is also affected by what we are told about this person before we meet them.  Our body language can also lead to success by attracting more positive and productive relationships in both business and social situations. 

 When we communicate with others it is more than the spoken word that is exchanged.  Our body language comprises 80% of our human communication.   Our posture or stance in various situations shows our confidence, openness, and willingness to interact.  It can also signal status, threat, and aggression. A high status can be shown by an upright posture and open chest and heart space.  Whereas, submissiveness, and humility shown by a slouching sagging posture gives the opposite impression. 

Equality of status is often indicated by matching postures.   Lower status is often showed by the bowed head, closed heart space and closed body positions - as if to protect oneself from hurt or attack.  This portrays to the world they feel they are smaller, weaker and more defensive than their higher status counterparts.

 Eye contact, facial expressions, head nodding, posture, hand, and arm gestures, are only a few examples of the language the body speaks.  The following is a simple systematic method of evaluating how people use body language in their everyday encounters:

Eye contact
Facial expressions
Head movements - showing interest with head tilts
Gestures - open or closed, folded arms
Posture
Proximity and orientation
Bodily contact
Appearance and how you feel it affects your response to them
Conversation timing and synchronization
Non-verbal aspects of speech – speed and tone

When you are conscious of a person’s body language and become aware of your own, you can improve on it, and use it to your own advantage.

Another way to improve your communication is through our mode of communication.  We all have Language Representational Systems which is the mode in which we perceive and communicate with the world around us.  These modes are visual, auditory, or kinesthetic or how we see, hear, or feel in our interactions with others whether it be in daily conversation, response to problems, stress and our unconscious perceptions.

 It is believed that if an individual could learn to communicate in all three modes, or systems, he or she could establish more rapport and trust with people whose main mode of communication differs to yours.  Increased ability to communicate in all three systems therefore might lead to increased effectiveness in communication.

The next time you are communicating with someone, make a conscious effort to try and read beyond his or her words.   You should also become aware of your own body language so you can learn how to send out positive, confident, and winning signals to everyone you meet.  

With practice you can improve your body language and make it work for you.

Optimists have a dominant right brain view of the world.  They are creative, resourceful, willing to make changes and are always looking for ways to succeed.  Their self-motivation, strong sense of self worth and grounded self awareness strengthens their positive perception when faced with challenges.  Pessimists have an ominous view. They feel overwhelmed and hopeless when faced with challenges and they blame themselves for failures. Their view is bleak and are not able to see options and the ability to change. This defeatist attitude stems from a low sense of self esteem and confidence which effects their quality of life.

The most important opinion anyone can have is the one they have of themselves.  Self-talk becomes imprinted in our minds whether its positive or negative.  It can either build our self-esteem or break it down.  If we are constantly thinking about our worries, our inadequacies, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Likewise, if we are constantly thinking about our success and our strengths, this will be our self-fulfilling prophecy. 

There are many ways to encourage an optimistic approach to life and the first approach is self-awareness.  Know who you are, your strengths and weaknesses.   

Success is failure turned inside out.   After failing once, try again.  If you fail again, ask yourself why?  If you fail a third time, rethink your goals. 

With the right guidance and support you can change your view.